It's been a week since i said goodbye to my son, i have to sent him home to his grandma since we're still not settle here and kelam kabut a little bit. My emotion was really unstable, at one time i can laugh aloud but in another, i burst into tears very easily.

Bila difikirkan, what i've been through, it was difficult, physically, mentally and emotionally.. really tiring, very costly dan yg paling penting melibatkan jiwa dan perasaan orang yang disayangi. It was very difficult to my husband to accept that we have to live apart one more year, difficult to my son that he has to learn to live in new place, difficult to my parents as well. However, as i go through the internet, spoke to my friends, they were facing the same difficulties with me, even worst than me. One of my friend, now at raub, pregnant, stay alone away from her husband and daughter, semata2 nak jadi guru. ajar anak orang, anak sendiri terpaksa ditinggalkan..... sekarang dah tahun kedua dia di sana, dah mintak tukar tapi x diterima. she was really depress.... hmm.. aku pun risau kalo aku juga depress..

new place, new breath... but the sadness remain the same

Being posted to Selangor was quite a shock to me as wasn't prepared mentally and physically. I thought i'll be posted to kelantan, just like i requested, plus due to rumors said we all be posted to our requested state. I wasn't prepared for this so maybe i'll be gloom for a week or two, until i recharge myself again.

Posted to Selangor meaning far away from family, and husband AGAIN.... i determine to bring my baby with me, but as i still yet couldnt find a suitable house for him, i reluctantly have to port him back to kampung.. huhu.... poor me.

Saya yang menurut perintah. But i have really good faith with our government maybe within a year or two they will pity me to send me back closer to my family, my husband especially!

it's been a while

It has been a year I did not write anything in this lonely blog. Many things going on and not been recorded. After a while, it feels like don't know how to write anymore...... life goes on.

As usual, every Sunday, just got back from home, from my family, my husband and my son. It was a sad feeling but still need to be swallowed deeply as it bitterness is meant for something sweet later on. Another two months, and really looking forward for that 2 months.

My dream right now, to be with my family as a whole, to set up our life, set up our goal. but now, as this moment, not many things can be focused about except for this one year course. Even Aiman was neglected a bit, but, alhamdulillah, he was given by Allah, a family that love him much, his aunties and uncles, grandmas and grandpas, spare their love to him as i cannot be with him fulltime now as i used to be last year.

My Heart My Soul

lama dah tak mengkreatifkan diri... a bit rusty... nanti cuba adjust lagi.. this is just testing.....